Synopsis
I am 21, on my last day of community service for beating a random guy on the street. Having lost my direction in life, I am sitting at the back of a tram in Belgrade when Ivan, an 11-year-old Roma boy, finishes singing and collecting money from other passengers and sits next to me. Instead of asking me for money, he wants to learn to “draw” the number eight. I teach him to write it and the next time I see him is three months later, when I accidentally run into him on the street. “Now you’re mine,” he yelled and hugged me.
Despite our differences, Ivan and I feel drawn to each other right away. In their own way, the troubles he is going through remind me of my own childhood. When he shows up on my doorstep a few days later, barefoot, terrified and exhausted, I offer him to stay at my place. I am living alone and think that I can help him find his place in this lonely and incredibly difficult world of his. I want to become the person in his life that I myself desperately needed but never had; I want him to trust me and feel safe and loved for who he is because he truly is an exceptional person who has so much love to give but sadly, no one to give it to.
That day, Ivan shows me the scars and bruises from his older brothers’ whippings, helping me to realize that I have never truly overcome the bitter and painful parts of my own past. Once, when I was abusing drugs at 17, I physically assaulted my sister and stabbed my mother in the thigh. In response, my parents sent me to a monastery where priests who attempt to beat drug addicts into sobriety beat me unconscious the first night.
The time Ivan and I spend together is mostly joyful and adventurous until Ivan starts doing drugs himself and shows up at my place one night with his brother and best friend, very drugged. Watching him take his first steps in the wrong direction and feeling like there is nothing I can do about it, I realize that, in order to help Ivan with his present, I must confront my past first.
Despite our differences, Ivan and I feel drawn to each other right away. In their own way, the troubles he is going through remind me of my own childhood. When he shows up on my doorstep a few days later, barefoot, terrified and exhausted, I offer him to stay at my place. I am living alone and think that I can help him find his place in this lonely and incredibly difficult world of his. I want to become the person in his life that I myself desperately needed but never had; I want him to trust me and feel safe and loved for who he is because he truly is an exceptional person who has so much love to give but sadly, no one to give it to.
That day, Ivan shows me the scars and bruises from his older brothers’ whippings, helping me to realize that I have never truly overcome the bitter and painful parts of my own past. Once, when I was abusing drugs at 17, I physically assaulted my sister and stabbed my mother in the thigh. In response, my parents sent me to a monastery where priests who attempt to beat drug addicts into sobriety beat me unconscious the first night.
The time Ivan and I spend together is mostly joyful and adventurous until Ivan starts doing drugs himself and shows up at my place one night with his brother and best friend, very drugged. Watching him take his first steps in the wrong direction and feeling like there is nothing I can do about it, I realize that, in order to help Ivan with his present, I must confront my past first.
Articles
![East Doc Platform 2022 Winners Announced](/storage-img/2816.jpg)
31. 3. 2022
East Doc Platform 2022 Winners Announced
The East Doc Platform Award went to the Polish project The World is not (a) Mine by Natalia Koniarz, while the Ukrainian project Up in the Air by Oksana Syhareva has two awards including HBO Max Award. See the awarded projects and juries statements.
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